Stuck Happens. Staying There Is a Choice. | How to break free from inertia and find your flow
Whether it’s a job that seems like a road to nowhere, relationships operating on autopilot, or just an overall feeling of inertia, everyone encounters “stuckness” at some point in their lives. And since we live in a society that thrives on perpetuating insecurity, the journey toward getting unstuck and reclaiming your momentum often begins with questioning just about everything you’ve been taught to believe.
Externally imposed expectations—from how you look, to what defines success—can sneak into your subconscious, influencing your most important decisions and silencing your inner truths. If you don’t take the steps to break free from beliefs and ideals that don’t serve your essential being, they can become the invisible chains that keep you tethered to an unfulfilling reality.
“The process of becoming “unstuck” begins with introspection, and with questioning whether or not the values you are dragging around with you are truly your own.”
The process of becoming “unstuck” begins with introspection, and with questioning whether or not the values you are dragging around with you are truly your own. On the Shaping Freedom podcast, researcher, public speaker, and coach Dr. Amber L. Howlett explains that, “Sometimes people legitimately don’t think about what they picked up along the way from other people, and how they’ve carried that with them throughout their lives.” The key to forward momentum lies in breaking through this unconscious devotion to the “stuff” that isn’t your own.
Amber, who is also the founder of Dharma Management, a company that “provides strategy coaching and consulting services that assist people and organizations to become unstuck,” notes that many people avoid spending time with their thoughts, keeping their lives filled with noise and distractions. “When’s the last time you connected to your heart?” she asks. Self-examination isn’t always comfortable, but it is essential to unearthing hidden beliefs and reclaiming your narrative.
And, as it turns out, our own core truths are not always as obvious as we think they are. Amber tells a personal story about pursuing alternative health strategies to help reduce her high blood pressure. When an acupuncturist suggested yoga to her, Amber’s knee jerk reaction revealed her own stuck mentality: “Black people don't do yoga.” The acupuncturist’s response? “Yes they do, Amber.” It is sometimes these gentle reminders—that we don’t know everything, and that there are paths worth exploring even when they seem completely out of character–-that begin the process of “unsticking” us from our hamster wheel existences.
“…developing our own belief systems is what we all need to do if we want to create and achieve goals that are meaningful to us.”
In Amber’s case, it was this simple suggestion that cascaded into a complete lifestyle reinvention—she ended up not just practicing yoga but becoming an instructor, using her newfound skill to teach children. As she says, “I thought yoga would be a great way to teach children how to regulate their emotions so that they can make better decisions.” Once we unstick ourselves, we’re empowered to help others find their own unique paths.
The first step toward getting unstuck is recognizing the simplicity, though not always the ease, of change. As Amber points out, developing our own belief systems is what we all need to do if we want to create and achieve goals that are meaningful to us. It isn’t necessarily about rejecting tradition outright, but about consciously choosing what aligns with your individual values and beliefs.
By questioning long-held assumptions—like who you’re supposed to be or what you’re capable of— you open the door to a deeper kind of freedom—a freedom that is untethered, unstuck, and entirely your own.
TL;DR (Too Long Didn’t Read)
Recognize stuckness: Whether it’s a stagnant job, autopilot relationships, or a sense of inertia, everyone faces moments of feeling stuck.
Question inherited beliefs: Examine whether societal expectations and subconscious values align with your authentic self.
Make space for introspection: Spending time with your thoughts can reveal hidden truths and spark transformative change.
Embrace the unknown: Exploring unfamiliar paths, like trying something outside your comfort zone, can lead to profound personal growth.
Redefine success: Break free from outdated ideals and create a life rooted in your values and goals.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Learn about Amber’s mission
Dr. Amber L. Howell Follow Amber’s journey
Listen to Amber and Lisane on the Shaping Freedom podcast.