You’re Raising Your Kids From Wounds They Never Had with Phill Branch | Episode 145

The Cost of Conditional Love

What happens when the unspoken rules of a family force a child to carry secrets they never agreed to keep?

In this episode of Shaping Freedom, Lisane Basquiat catches up with repeat guest Phill Branch, an Emmy Award-winning filmmaker, storyteller, and founder/creative director of the Baltimore Story Fest. In an intimate, candid conversation , Lisane and Phill dive into his memoir, The Double Dutch Fast.

Phill reflects on growing up as a young Black boy in Newark, New Jersey , under the watch of a father with rigid models of masculinity . He opens up about the emotional labor children often absorb when adults haven't processed their own pasts , the weight of conditional love , and how he developed a protective instinct to observe and speak truth even when it made others uncomfortable . Lisane and Phill explore how we perform our lives versus truly living them , the myth that we have to be "superstars" just to be worthy of acceptance , and the shift from "trying to prove" to simply being present.

They also discuss the complexities of parenting—how we often parent in direct contrast to what we lacked growing up , and why freeing our children means doing the internal work ourselves so they can start with a blank canvas.

This is a grounded, deeply human conversation about breaking silence , redefining success , and realizing that when one person does the work, the entire world around them changes.

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