Healing Isn’t a Hashtag | Why Therapy-Speak Might Be Keeping You Stuck
In a culture fluent in “therapy-speak” — the language of personal development, self-care, and mental health — we often lean on talk, and stop short of the real work required to grow. We may obsessively read the books and post the quotes, or tell ourselves that “awareness” is all we need to cultivate in order to grow and evolve. But meaningful transformation demands more: honest self-reflection, difficult conversations, and the courage to confront the stories we’ve been told — and the ones we tell ourselves.
“We talk about self-care. We talk about all of these things. But putting it into practice is a different thing,” says minister, coach and mental health advocate Antoine K. Garrett, on the Shaping Freedom podcast. “We have normalized comfort instead of normalizing growth.”
That comfort often shows up as resistance: to feedback, to vulnerability, and to the idea that change is even possible. “Far too many of us say, ‘That’s just the way I am,’” Antoine says. “But you weren’t born that way. Something happened — or didn’t happen — that shaped who you’ve become.”
“We have normalized comfort instead of normalizing growth.”
Antoine, who has spent decades empowering others through storytelling and coaching, speaks candidly about the psychological cost of staying silent. Raised in a culture where “what happens in the house stays in the house,” he internalized the idea that struggle should be private — a mindset that eventually led to a diagnosis of depression. “I was carrying the weight of my dad passing, coming through COVID, losing so many people — and I didn’t let anybody in,” he says.
His breaking point became a turning point. After seeking therapy and later pursuing a master’s in mental health and wellness, Antoine discovered a deeper calling: helping others — especially young people — recognize their own stories and speak them out loud. “The thing you keep in is the thing that can make a difference in somebody’s life,” he says. “You’re on the other side of what somebody may be currently in.”
Antoine believes the most radical act we can commit in our own healing is choosing to connect with others — even when silence feels safer. “The things we don’t talk about don’t change,” he says. “And then we don’t get an opportunity to heal.”
“Growth isn’t a self-help slogan — it’s a daily decision to stop living on autopilot and start engaging with what’s uncomfortable…”
That shift in mindset — from concealment to communication — doesn’t just benefit the self. It creates a ripple effect across families, communities, and generations. “Everyone you meet is dealing with something,” Antoine says. “You just don’t know what happens when they close the door and sit in the car alone. You don’t know what they’re carring.
Growth isn’t a self-help slogan — it’s a daily decision to stop living on autopilot and start engaging with what’s uncomfortable, what’s buried, and what’s possible. We are not fixed, final versions of ourselves. As Antoine puts it, “You can make a decision to move differently, to live differently, to think differently. It’s going to take some work — but it starts with a decision.”
TL;DR (Too Long Didn’t Read)
In today’s self-help culture, there's a tendency to equate talking about growth with actually doing the work of transformation — but true change requires discomfort, reflection, and action.
Relying on quotes, books, and “therapy-speak” can create the illusion of progress while avoiding the deeper emotional labor real growth demands.
Avoiding vulnerability and clinging to limiting beliefs like “that’s just the way I am” can block healing and reinforce harmful patterns.
Shifting from silence to honest connection not only supports individual healing, but can also spark meaningful change in families, communities, and future generations.
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