Why Balance Is a Myth | How prioritizing what matters beats juggling everything
Dr. Shanta Collette Develle Carter-Williams was already doing God's work. She was raising money for metastatic breast cancer, hosting events, thriving in her advocacy. She thought she was walking in her purpose. But God, she says, kept whispering: "There's some details still missing."
Those missing details would arrive in the form of a heart attack and multiple strokes that forced her to stop "edging God out" and start listening to what her body—and her Creator—were trying to tell her.
"Before David was king, when it was time for him to do what he needed to do, God didn't just hand him a crown. He gave him Goliath," Dr. Shanta explains during our conversation on the Shaping Freedom podcast. "He didn't give him an army. He didn't give him a sword. He gave him one stone."
When I sat down with Dr. Shanta for an episode of the Shaping Freedom podcast, I expected to hear another survival story. What I discovered was a masterclass in dismantling every comfortable lie we tell ourselves about health, self-care, and what it really means to save your own life.
Here are three truths from our conversation that'll make you rethink everything you thought you knew about advocating for your health, finding real rest, and participating in your own rescue:
1. The doctors work for you—not the other way around
Dr. Shanta was sad. Not about her health crisis, but about being dismissed by doctors who wouldn't listen when she knew something was wrong.
"I was intimidated by the doctor because of his pedigree," she admits. "Who am I to challenge this medical professional?"
Then came the revelation: "You've been trained eight years and all you can do is tell me something my grandmother would tell me? Drink some water. Don't be stressed. Quit my job. I could get that for free."
Her strategy became revolutionary: "If you can't give me a referral or if you can't prescribe me a medication or if you can't do this particular testing, then I need you to write that you refuse to care for me."
They won't write it. They never do. Which is exactly the point.
"The doctors work for you," she insists. "They work for you."
2. Your spa day is not self-care—it's just ANOTHER ERRAND
Dr. Shanta dismantles our comfortable definitions with tough love. That massage, pedicure, brunch with girlfriends?
"All of this is running. It's not rest. All of this is running, not self-care. Your brain is constantly going. You're scrolling through social media. You're not getting any rest."
Even vacations become performance—ziplining, mountain climbing, partying nightly. "And then you come back home and now you need a vacation from the vacation."
She drops the truth about balance: "Balance is like the scales—always going like this. The only way they're balanced when there's nothing in them."
The solution? "You have to prioritize. You have to prioritize, and you have to focus on what's important and get rid of the low hanging fruit."
3. Nobody's coming to save you—and that's good news
"We have to participate in our own rescue," Dr. Shanta declares. "God will send us the boat. He will send us the people. But we have to get into the boat. We have to be willing to get in the water."
She sees too many people waiting: "We see the help, we see the boat. But we’re scared to get into the water. We’re scared of the water getting murky."
The truth that changed everything for her: "Save yourself because nobody's coming to rescue you."
This isn't abandonment—it's empowerment. "Treatment doesn't always take place in the hospital. It takes place in habits."
Six years into recovery, Dr. Shanta has transformed into something she never expected: "I am my greatest hobby. I am my best investment. There is no investment greater than me."
It's not arrogance. It's the hard-won wisdom of someone who learned that "The children, the job, the bills, the husband—those things don't matter if you're not here. They become somebody else's job."
TL;DR
Stop chasing balance nobody actually has. When you strip away the performance, the noise, and the excuses, what matters becomes painfully clear—and that clarity is what saves you.
What you keep dismissing or downplaying might be the very signal your body—and your spirit—has been trying to deliver. Honesty with yourself builds a different kind of strength, one that doesn’t collapse when life gets loud.
Pour into the things that keep you alive, not the things that keep you busy. Real alignment starts when you stop running, tell the truth about what’s not working, and finally choose yourself without apology.
Learn More
Follow Dr. Shanta Collette on Instagram and TikTok for daily doses of tough love, medical advocacy, and proof that joy can coexist with struggle.
Tune into the full Shaping Freedom episode to discover how one woman turned medical dismissal into divine purpose and why sometimes God gives you exactly what you don't want so you can see what you actually need.